Demand but not Give...............

Another day in my life is about to get over. Got up at 02:30 AM (I could have slept for an hour more) for a flight at 0520 AM to Vizag but after having slept at 00:30 AM I did not want to take a chance. Was in a "official" dinner which was the reason I slept late which by itself is another story. I was a bit disturbed by the events but I decided to ignore. I realized I cannot take most of things which happen in my professional life seriously or else I would collapse. I get up and take an Auto to reach Airport. Sleep for an hour there and somehow manage to get into the flight. Get down in Vizag and I decided to take a city bus to Gajuwaka from where I was planning to take a bus to Kakinada. I came out of the airport to notice that City bus stop has been dismantled and I walked for about 3 KM before I reached the bus stop. I enjoyed my walk, had the company of this guy who was walking from a much longer distance as he did not have any money, given that it is second half of the month. He was ready to help carry my luggage, I thanked him and said I can manage. A car stopped to give me a lift but when I mentioned that I have this other person with me, he went away. I did not want to leave this guy and get into the car. We walked, we talked about mundane stuff on the road about construction, his money management etc (I do not remember anything except for difficult circumstances he was in and how cheerfully he managed the same) and finally he helped me get into this Auto which took me to bus stand for Kakinada. I helped him with twenty Rs (not that it means a lot) but hoping he will have a cup of tea. I got into the bus, was messaging S and suddenly slept off for 20 minutes or so. I woke up then and could not sleep thereafter. The bus stopped at the holy town of Annavaram and I got down. I was hungry then, I bought myself a small pack of Tutti Fruitty. I quite like it as I understand its dried Papaya. I also bought myself a pack of Kurkure as nothing else was available there. The bus started again and at around Pitaphuram, I bought myself a Grilled Corn. I loved it as usual and then I reached Kakinada. Spoke with S before getting down. Reached home, talked with my Aunts and had a sumptuous meal of lady finger curry, Green Leafy Vegetable based lentil preparation and "Mango Ginger". Mango Ginger when soaked in green chilles and Lemon juice as was served today is something I love. Somehow today I was not liking it, don't know why though? I slept off thereafter and woke up. Texted S and continued with chatting with my aunts. Finished dinner of Dosa and Buttermilk and here am I in front of my laptop.
One thing which intrigued me while I was in the bus was what would I do If I were at the same time in some other part of the world. There are so many worlds at the same time. I could be doing completely different things at the same time depending on the location. I thought of Kerala, USA, Bacheli, Bombay, Kolkata, delhi, Andhra, Hyderabad etc. There is so much happening around us in the whole world. There is a huge agitation going in and around Hyderabad for Telangana state (without going into the right & wrong of it) seems like a demand for something the people there want. Now we all want something but we have very little to give to others. The people in Telangana want statehood as they feel they are a deprived lot. I looked at their behavior and thought I am no different. I also demand my pound of flesh all the time without understanding where am I going to get it from. I seldom think of what I have to offer to the other person in question. It is not just a matter of material possessions but also emotional needs. I seldom think about giving as much as I do about asking/demanding on emotional requirements. Will this change? I wonder about the same. I want to but the pragmatist in me says it may not happen. Its interesting that between a mother and a kid this imbalance exists without any issues wherein the kid continuously demands and the mother gives as much as she can. Even here the mother get restricted If she has more than one kid as then she needs to make choices then. For Telangana to get resolved Indian State needs to have Telangana as her only kid which is not the case. I guess its only human to have these demands and live in this constant conflict.....

27th September 2011..........

The day started with me getting up after a lot of effort. That's usual, me getting up from my sleep is a challenge I face everyday. I reach office, spoke with Mom on the way. I reach office and the security guard asks me to show my identity card. I said I am not getting into the office and hence there is no need to show the same. He stuck on to the request and I became a bit restless. I show him the card and ask him to not waste time hereon. S called me at the same time and explained how wrong I was? While I was in Gym I continued to think about and concluded I was completely wrong. I came out to apologize to this guy and I realize he was not there. I felt terrible as here I was on the wrong side and I could not do my bit to apologize. The day continued with meetings, discussions and conversations with S.The morning incident with security guard taught me a zillion things. Trust I will find ways and means of improving myself.

September 4th 2011: Got up late on a Sunday Morning. Went for breakfast with Lokesh to a local Mall. It has lot of options including Indian food. I ate my favorite Burger King Veggie. Lokesh then showed me the apartment complex he stays in. It has a lovely pool table, swimming pool and other facilities. At this point, Aruna & Family picked me up from there and we reach their home. Had food and good time with kids at her place. We went to an Indian store in the evening for buying some groceries. NJ seems to have lot of Indians or perhaps this is just the locations I was in. All these Indians looked as If they are in two minds, they love the comfort which USA offers but miss the crowds/people to people contact back in India. No bargaining in the shop for example.Once back I felt sleepy again. This morning, I get up and did not even realize when it was time for me to take train from NJ to Bridgeport. The train I must say is a disappointment when compared with similar options in Europe. It costed me much more for similar distance with much less comfort. It was 17 minutes late as well. Got down in Bridgeport and took a Cab to the Hotel.
Shelton felt as If its a wonderful, small little town which brings together nature's best with modern day comforts. After a dinner at Ruby Tuesday, Shelton (which by the way was completely packed) here I am penning down my thoughts. One mistake I have made till now is to not take any pics.  

America and Me....

I always wanted to visit USA, not sure why, I guess multitude of reasons and somehow this country evaded me. I finally reached this place this morning and at the end of first day, I am glad that I am here. The visit started with a long immigration queue in JFK. I am told this is usual at JFK. It was 8 AM in the morning and most of us were tired and wondering when we would be out of Airport. Called up S as soon as I landed, to tell that I have landed with loads of headache. Advise for me was to have lot of hot fluids to get rid of headache and I was wondering how to get the same in the queue. S of course as usual helped me with loads of info and other imp stuff. Had this interesting pair of girls in the queue who talked as If that has an autocatalytic effect on their energy levels. The more they talked, the more they seem to be wanting to talk. I was amazed and frustrated with them (because of my headache). When their turn comes up I had to ask them to go as their attention was focused on talking about something to do with shopping I believe. One of them goes to this immigration officer and she starts talking to him, at this point of time I was thinking of how to cultivate/get some of the energy that girl had. As all things this ended and when they move out, my turn comes up. I go to the officer, he is more interested in my notebook than anything else. He checks it out and asks me about my background and finds it difficult to connect it with my job in Unilever. Neither can I, I thought in my mind. He looks at some scribbles in my notebook and says that was calculus. He adds on saying he never understood it. I was wondering If my Physics Prof from college would have been here he would have certainly lodged a complaint against this guy. Managed to go out and realize that I do not have the car which is supposed to have picked me up there. A quick similarity between JFK and CSIA (Mumbai), as soon as you walk out of the airport, tens of taxi drivers would ask you If you need a Taxi some even in Hindi. I with all my India experience quickly said no and landed at Emirates helpdesk (which was at some god forsaken place and Air India helpdesk helped me get there), and the lady there politely tells me the car can wait for only 90 minutes and its 110  minutes now. I argued saying that I did not know, did not help and I must say my thinking as Emirates Airline to be one of most caring airline disappeared. Managed to book a Cab to Penn Station in Manhattan. Walked to Path Station in which looked like a very old station (later confirmed to be more than 100 years old) but it looked to be in robust working condition. Enjoyed my ride from there to Newport. Lokesh picked me up and the first thing I did was to sleep at his home for 4 hours to get rid of my headache.
By 4 PM all my headache was gone. Left for WTC, saw some people explaining the Jewish conspiracy in WTC attacks and I thought this is wonderful as an example of free society.
Walked from Broadway to Battery Garden to Times Square to Brooklyn Bridge to Christopher Street. New York is as busy as Bombay but has lot of breathing space.
Had a Gyro near NYSE, its yummy street food based on Chicken. Must eat there. Walked to Battery Gardens for a wonderful view of the hudson river. Subsequently walked to Times Square (stopped at a garden in between) and loved the energy of the place. Giant screens there are wonderful. Went to Hells kitchen thereafter for Turkish food. Could not finish it fully as it was heavy but as usual I loved the turkish kebabs. Thereafter we took a long walk and I enjoyed every second to Christopher street. We took a train back to home and here I am back. Hope this wonderful trip continues to thrill me. It would have been better with my S and others here.

The Balance between "Balance and ..........."

I don't even remember when this was. It was a long long time ago, it almost seems a completely different era. I was this young kid (yes I used to be young) at some point in my life and I was at my friend's place. We were three of us and my friend's mother suddenly said about me (while talking about a whole host of things) the following:
"Vamsi Jo bolta hai woh kar ke dikata hai, Hamein uski yeh baat badi acchi lagti hai" 
Its funny that this is something I have never forgotten. Looking back at my life, I notice I have had mixed experiences on this. In recent times, I realize I am no magician and almost all of things I have said did not materialize. In this backdrop, I was watching this program on NDTV India which was essentially a discussion on Prakash Jha's movie called "Aarakshan". This is about the debate on reservations for backward communities in India. While the debate itself is interesting and I would like to pen my thoughts on it in a separate blog, one dialogue in the show from Prakash intrigued me. While answering the debate on whether reservations hamper meritocracy, he says, not all those who manage to move forward without having the support of reservations are meritorious and he used the example of money being used as instrument to buy success. He further goes on to say, "Being meritorious or claiming to be one is a big burden by itself"
I thought about it and I felt this to be so true. We all fall in this trap of being right, knowing how/what to decide better than others. The moment we say I am not capable of this and I trust the other person with respect to this you will find yourself to be calmer and content. Of course too much of this can be harmful as well as you question the need of very existence of yours, If you were to say that there exists no merit in your thoughts, you essentially are saying there exists no merit in your existence. We all need to strike a balance, move away from the quest for perfection to quest for balance to perhaps feel better. Incidentally somebody special told me to strike a balance of positives/negatives on an important issue.  I was completely positive about the same, till I was asked to strike a balance by her.
But as is most often the case, we rarely get what we need and instead we end up at the other extreme. Those of us who need to be decisive end up taking a balanced view of things (some say our current Prime Minister, Manmohan Singh is one such individual) and those who need to take a balanced view end up taking an extremist view.
It is not possible for one to strike this balance If you don't have one as someone has rightly said that "Balance is beautiful" but he/she forgot to mention that not having balance is something better, cannot be expressed in words as that's why we find it impossible to move away from it.

Hazare, Honesty and Hypocrisy

Over the last one week, something dramatic happened all over India. Anna Hazare and few others (very important people whom we tend to forget) came together and got government to agree on considering a version of Lokpal Bill (called Jan Lokpal Bill) with participation from "civilians" in the draft committee. This has two big implications:

1. Is this the beginning of death of democratic process of people electing legislators to draft laws? As the process which Anna Hazare took seems to something which is more suited to Dictatorships and not Democracies.
2.  The debate on concentration of power in Lokpal at Central and Lokayukta's at State level as they act as initiators of investigation, investigators and judges in all the cases. This is contrary to democratic principles of having checks and balances. The argument of having eminent citizens such as Bharat Ratna Awardees, Magsaysay Award winners and others with similar profiles as part of this independent constitutional authority to be created transfers the risk of choosing right people from one committee to another. It does not eliminate it.

Having said the above, I must make it clear that I am not at all against creating of Lokpal and Lokayukta's in India. I am just reflecting on some challenges which we will all face over next few weeks while debating this important peace of legislation.
However, I do want to comment on another aspect of corruption in India. At its core, having corruption free India is about having probity in our lives. Can we all say that we all are doing our bit to be honest? How many of us are fine with not having an accurate representation of what we are while applying for jobs in the application? How many of us use pirated music for listening or pirated software on our computers? This list of questions goes on. At the end of it, while we all want and we must continue to do so in seeking Corruption free society, the larger challenge we all face is bring honesty in our lives. Unless we do so, I believe our attempts would meet limited success as far as eradicating corruption is concerned.
Talking to few people around me, I realize that we want a corruption free society as as its about getting our politicians acts right as they seem to be minting money. On doing a bit of deep dive, I realize that all of us want to hold others accountable and demand honesty from them. When it comes to ourselves we tend to move away from this question. This brings me to a phenomena we all seem to cherish in our subconscious minds "Hypocrisy". We all have a different set of rules for ourselves and those for others when it comes to "Honesty". The reason Anna Hazare could do what he did was because he has been a honest person in the true sense all his life and as a consequence he could make his choice between "Honesty" and "Hypocrisy".

I wonder how many of us will be able to solve this HHH conundrum of Hazare, Honesty and Hypocrisy........

So what's the biggest thing you would do ever in life. We cannot predict right. We all might hit some divine intervention perhaps do that one thing which we would not have even imagined in our wildest dreams.

But If we were asked what is the biggest investment we would ever make in our life what would it be. If we were forced to make answer this, for a lot of us the biggest investment (material investment as I am sure lot of us do make larger emotional investments) we would make in our life would be the house we buy. I was thinking about this sometime back. The reason being I wanted to understand what would I look for If (Although I am sure that I would not go and buy a house due to sheer laziness of mine) I do go for this. What would I want my house to do for me when I get back home after a day's work or on weekends.
First of all my house needs to be full of life. It should be less of an artificial construct and more of nature at its best. I would prefer lot of natural ventilation, a big garden and minimalistic furniture which does not stand out but just fits in nicely. The garden needs to lend itself for constant renovation. I would like to constantly work on the garden and  refresh the same every season. A room for reading is a must. I would like to stock the same with all the books (whatever little) I have read. This would also be the place for me to build on my desire to learn something new periodically. Predominant color patterns would be green and blue as they are my favorites. It should have as little as possible but not less than what's needed.
Another important aspect of the house I choose would be not what's in the house but what's around it. I would like to be in company of people who want to talk and engage. But the most important addition to the house would be the right people, that would determine the kind of home I end up living in. More about them some other time.

While chatting up with my sister yesterday, she told me about this wonderful friend of mine who committed suicide this Wednesday. She was perhaps more close to my sister then me but I enjoyed every moment I spent with her. She was four years elder to me but that did not prevent her from playing with me when I was a kid. That also did not prevent her from long evening walks we used to take up many years back or the badminton games we played. She was one of the most respected students in our school, always excelled at whatever she did but most importantly she was a wonderful human being. I owe all my education to her as I used her textbooks (They used to come from her to my sister then to my neighbor and then to me). Everyone had a good word for her all the time. There of course is a lot more to her life and I don't want to pen all of that here. Couple of weeks back I was wondering If I would ever meet her again as I wanted to get back and talk to people who are good at heart and nothing else. God bless her and may her soul rest in peace. As is often said, "God takes away those he loves" and that is perhaps the reason she left us.

Few more days passed by. Lot seems to be happening in World at large and of course my life as well. The world seems to be grappling with what's right with respect to the turmoil in Libya. Should the dictator there continue to rule as citizens there themselves cannot overthrow him due to sheer force he possess. Alternatively, the world at large in the name of human rights can intervene in Libya and go after the dictator there. These are difficult questions as underlying this discussion is huge quantum of resources which Libya has. This is the reason the whole world seems to be interested in Libya but not in many other African countries with similar challenges. Allied forces (USA, France and Britain) have taken a strong anti Gadaffi position which means using military means to help Libyan people. India, China and Russia have taken positions which are different again driven by their perspective on how to benefit best from Oil present in Libya. Incidentally Libyan government has also made lucrative offers to companies from India, China & Russia reciprocating this gesture. The situation in Libya is fast turning itself into a situation where the line between what's right and what's wrong is blurred. The root cause of all these issues is inconsistent spread of resources which are needed for material prosperity of humans across all the countries. This causes all the tensions which we notice. This can be addressed in one of the three ways:

1. Forget material prosperity and focus on spiritual prosperity. However eccentric and stupid this might sound, the fact is this feature does show itself up in many places around the world. People in Bangladesh are happier than those in USA is perhaps an outcome of this. Though this aspect of human life is fast disappearing with a globalised world view coming in. 

2. Get rid of all the international borders and ensure that all the resources are equally shared by all. Impossible you all might say. For me its the other way, I have found it extremely difficult to understand what's different between a Punjabi in Ludhiyana and Lahore and what's common between the Punjabi in Ludhiyana and Tamilian in Chennai. These international borders are artificial creations and can be done away with provided we all put our heart into it. Having said this, I fully realize this would never materialize for obvious reasons.

3. Intervene with technology to ensure that one type of resource which is abnormally concentrated in one part of the world does not become more important than its fair share. For example, we need disproportionate focus on renewable sources of energy to get rid of irrational responses we have seen from all countries on Libyan crisis. This is perhaps our biggest hope for future but we need to improve our focus on this now.

Perhaps I am thinking a bit too much about the crisis in Libya and associated causes. It may be that I am making a simple issue complicated by using what may be termed as intellectual and stupid arguments by others. This brings me to another thought which has occupied my mind space for quite some time now i.e. intellectual dishonesty. I have been off late accused by multiple people of this. This also "seems" to be the underlying driving force for the way various countries are reacting to Libyan crisis. My simple take on this intellect beyond a point (the threshold level is very low) is senseless. Somebody has captured this thought nicely by saying that "a good rule of thumb is that too clever is too dumb". More on this some other time with a slightly more personal take.

The Life this Week...........

One more week has passed by. This time it was not routine and was rather different. It started with a visit to this place I had been planning to go for quite some time. Off late I have been pursuing two items in life and by the end of this week I realize that I would get neither. This week is special in that sense as it has decided a lot for me as far as what I am going to do over next 2-3 Years. I obviously don't know what Life has got in plan for me thereafter, not that I think Life specially plans for me but not sure which random outcome will influence my life.
I met a college friend of mine after a long time for dinner on Thursday. He was going through a slightly difficult phase in his job. But he was in a good mood, I guess adversity brings out the best in people in terms of humor. Among the many stories in mind the one which I kept thinking about thereafter was the following...
There was this guy who felt he has been deprived of everything in life and continuously complained and sought divine intervention to help him with this. Even the god got tired of his complaints and finally asked him what did he want? This guy started contemplating and asked the god for some time. He wanted to be sure so he asked the god for some time to think. God obliged. The complaints disappeared and both he/god were happier thereafter. Although nothing changed..........
This guy had everything right with him to perhaps do the best in class stuff in his life. He joined one of the Top 5 Universities in USA after graduation (where he did very well) and worked on some really good stuff. Published some fantastic papers and one fine day just flew back to India. He tried his hand at software jobs, then did an MBA at IIFT , joined a job then quit suddenly, was jobless for six months and then got into another job where he is in a bit of difficulty. When I look back I wonder what happened and why?

Other aspect which I have kept thinking (throughout this week) about was this change in my role at office which is going to get effected anytime soon. The only divine intervention I need this time is that I should gain some real knowledge after this stint. I want to acquire some real knowledge this time unlike what has happened to me in my current stint.

I also thought a lot about a change which happened in my personal life this week. On this I have neutral feelings (much like the answer I gave to a question when posed by someone in professional life) and I wish this special person all the best for her future. She deserves all things good in her life and may god bless her with the same.

This week also was special as my Mom got promoted in her job. Not that this was her first promotion in job but she moved from being a worker to an officer (Junior Officer though). She looses her membership of worker's union and is required to work couple of hours extra everyday. Not that she got it out of some special merit but it is a culmination of her diligence and patience. What I like is way she is still a bit scared of all things wrong and values good human behaviors (where I disappoint her).

Watched Tanu Weds Manu on Friday last week. Interesting movie (most of my friends seem to hate the movie) but I liked it. I like the honesty Madhavan brings to his character. He is perhaps the only hero who can drag me to a movie. I also liked some sequences in the movie especially the Jai Mata Di scene between Madhavan and Deepak D.

Lastly, this week has been special in Indian Politics as well. Common sense seems to have returned to the minds of our politicians. We have Congress agreeing to a JPC, subsequently Sushma Swaraj saying that she is fine with an apology from PM on appointment of CVC. All this augurs well for India as we need attention to economic issues such as Fiscal Deficit, GST, Reforms among other items.

All in all an interesting week....I am reminded of this quote from a senior of mine back in college (I am sure he must have flicked it from somewhere)..Life is a glass of Whiskey and one should drink it sip by sip.

Knowledge has come to define our society. In India which used to be dominated by caste and class discussions acquiring knowledge seems to have taken a precedence over other aspects. Its quite common to see individuals striving to improve on their knowledge quotient (KQ) to improve upon their chances of success in various endeavors they pursue.

Starting from Job sector in India where knowledge seem to be the single biggest determining factor in choice along with behavioral traits (which again can be classified as as part of knowledge), KQ has become the factor which defines individuals. 

An example of this opportunity in India are the software professionals who have earned their success through knowledge of software engineering, which in turn has been acquired through education. An individual is sure to succeed If (s)he is educated while the same is not guaranteed based on his/her background. This phenomena is a result of the power which knowledge possesses in paving the way for non linear growth in value while property/money can only lead to conventional, linear growth in value. 

 Another great example of our times is Bill Gates, while he is not educated in the conventional sense (did not have a degree when he started of), he had the knowledge needed to create value which he acquired by education himself.

 200 Years ago, education would have provided an individual with the opportunity of serving rich or noble class, this in turn meant that educated could have never (almost all the times) become more successful than rich or noble class. Hence in those days, property and money were critical to the success one achieved. It should be mentioned that examples such as those of Bill Gates or Software professionals existed even 200 years ago but they were a tiny minority and the opportunity provided today by education is far greater in the egalitarian & democratic societies of today.

Almost all the challenges of today, be it climate change, social justice or equitable growth needs knowledge as key enabler for movement forward. Even in my routine & mundane job I notice that we are challenged to learn something new on a periodic basis. 

It is important to note that we must not limit definition of knowledge to an understanding of Game Theory, Quantum Mechanics or behavioral sciences etc. Even ability to manage a group of people in political rally would classify as knowledge for me and indeed this helps you get one of the most prized roles in Indian society that of a wealthy and powerful politician. 

However this change does come with its own set of challenges. One of the biggest debate in my mind has been the challenge of access to knowledge. Some of us are more privileged and some others do get left out. But I guess solutions would come by, as B R Ambedkar revolutionized Indian society through the knowledge he had by penning down one of the most progressive constitutions of our time, I am sure its a matter of time before we see more pro active work in this space....

Hum Dono Rangeen

Managed to watch "Hum Dono Rangeen" this Saturday. Must say I was a bit disappointed with the movie but It still helped me with my dope of..... It has got some beautiful performances of Dev Anand and Sadhna. I especially love the way Sadhna uses the lighter to help Dev smoke in the opening scene of the movie. Hum Dono has all that a quintessential Hindi movie is expected to have, a mix of confusion, selfless love, sacrifice, the divide between rich girl and poor boy, friendship among other things. We must however note that in 1961 this may not have been as essential to Hindi Cinema as it perhaps became later.
But the real highlight of the movie are the songs. Main Zindagi ka Saat Nibhata Chala Gaya is as fresh as it can get.
The other song which I really enjoyed was "Abhi Na Jao Chod Kar Ki Dil Abhi Bhara Nahin", wonderfully written by Sahir L and I loved every line of this song. The line I loved most though is "Jahan Main Aisa Kaun Hai Jisko Gam Mila Nahin". Of course me, I thought.
Another beautiful song is "Kabhi Khud Par Kabhi Halat Pe Rona Aaya". A commentary on the situation Dev Anand finds himself as he is forced to join Army to prove himself worthy of Sadhna. All of us would find use for this song one way or another.
Overall, I was a happier entity after watching Hum Dono. It had the message of selfless love and friendship through out. There was no reason for Sadhna to stay with Dev's mother in a poor neighborhood while he was away in war. Its the same with Dev when he returns from war and he is needed to help Nanda overcome her heart disease by acting as her husband and in the process moved away from Sadhna.
Characters in the movie never asked why should I do this or what's the use of it? They just did it, perhaps for themselves....But then we never know why humans do acquire this quality of selflessness. As to be selfless you have to consistently believe that you are not and more you believe that you are not selfless, you become better at it..There's always more to be done......

Laws of Life......

This post of mine is an effort to put down Laws of Life as I see them. They are simple, intuitive and inspired by my love for Thermodynamics as a subject. While discussion on thermodynamics is for a different blog, I have always been intrigued by its application to my daily life.

Zeroth Law: If A hates/Likes C, B hates/likes C then A respectively likes/hates B. This is an interesting one. Rarely I have come across two friends who have similar approach to life or similar interests etc. Invariably they are on the opposite sides. This is unlike inanimate systems who are governed by an exactly opposite law. A popular version of this is opposites attract

First Law: Life is a Zero Sum Game. While many of us would like to believe that this is untrue, this is as basic as the fact that we are alive. Career vs. Family, Wife vs. Mom, Money vs. Job Satisfaction, Democracy vs. Growth, Liberty vs. affluence are some of many choices we all are required to make at any point of time.

Second Law:  With every passing moment, Life gets more Chaotic. This is simple and I am sure all of us can relate to this. Once we manage to get our hands on to something we want e.g. a house we wanted, we have a list of ten more things to do. If as part of organizational restructuring we create more internal positions to manage expectations of external customers then chaos increases due to internal alignment issues, If we were to cut down internal positions then chaos increases due lack of satisfaction at the end of external customers. There are many more examples but the plain simple rule of life is with every passing moment we face more uncertainty which leads to more chaos. 

Third Law: Zero state of mind can never be reached. Its quite common for all of us to say that I would like to take a break from my life and go to Himalayas. The reason is something as simple as to get away from worldly matters completely so as get to what I call as Zero state of Mind. Its actually impossible, yes we do get closer to what we want but never exactly there. Another important point to note here is more we want to get closer, more chaos we create in our life in general. Imagine you were to go to Himalayas, it would bring a tremendous amount of change to your daily life, concern to your loved ones among other issues.

Above three laws sum up my take on Life, though I do not want them to be this way perhaps, this is how life seems to have turned out. As someone wise has said, What you get is not what you want but.......

Climate change & me.

The discussion around climate change has always intrigued me. Have been part of some basic discussions around this subject thanks to the job I have at Unilever. It evokes an eclectic combination of responses from people around you. The responses vary from a strong desire to be part of the solution to a sense of disbelief. Then there are those of us in between who do not know what to do but do believe that Climate change is indeed happening. So what's the truth? Should we worry about this at all? Well to start with, I am no expert and I have not even made a honest effort to read the latest happening in this space. But I want to put down my thoughts on this topic as I have a nagging feeling that this would indeed define our future.
Climate change is a continuous phenomena and has been taking place and would continue to take place irrespective of human activity. The essential debate which we must get right is increase in rate of climate change as a consequence of green house gas emissions which lead to increase in average temperatures on planet earth. Again, It must be noticed that temperatures have been increasing after the recovery from ice ages for thousands of years now which is a natural phenomena. Green house gases which get emitted as a consequence of man made activity have accelerated this temperature increase. Temperature increase at the natural rate (as allowed by  Mother Nature) lets us and all species of Flora/Fauna adjust to the same. But now the increased rate puts all of us under grave risk of survival. We also should note that fact that even when temperature increases at natural rate many species do not survive leading to Darwinian evolution. The essential challenge is that of faster rate of climate change and not climate change which we all need to grapple with. Its a highly non linear science and I am sure a mathematicians delight from that perspective.
Above is a simplistic explanation of Climate Change and there are many important technical nuances which need to be understood.
So what do we do? We have a population of ~7 Billion ( I am told the 7 Billionth child will be born in UP India, not sure how they made this calculation). There is no way we can cut it back to ~1 Billion assuming that this would solve the problem. There are many assumptions over here, couple of them being cutting consumption levels for example of fossil fuels we can stop an already started process of temperature increase or reduction in consumption by 7 times is good enough with per capita consumption at today's levels. These are complex questions and we shall leave them for the best minds in American Universities to solve.
Do we cut our consumption levels by 7 times? Even If we were to assume that this would work how do we do this? Do we trust science to bring solutions for the same? If we were to replace all Desktops by IPads will we reduce enough polymer consumption? Do we replace all the SUVs with Maruti Alto Cars across the globe? Do we do away with lifts in all the buildings for 5 floors? Some of us would use the lift to sixth floor and walk a floor down. Do we wait for next generation bricks or cement which have lower carbon footprint i.e. emit lesser green house gases? There are no simple answers and these are questions which would occupy the minds of scientists for at least next 20 years.
I actually believe that technology does not have all the answers for once. We need to overhaul the whole system of which we are a part. We need to start by identifying the cost of increased rate of climate change. Should be easy If we were to assume that climate change would lead to our extinction right. Then we need to allocate this cost to our consumption patterns and then we perhaps would have the right problem to solve. Once we do that we use science and of course maths to help us identify the right solutions. Sounds logical right, after all this is how we deal with any other decision making process right. Establishing present value of assets/liabilities etc is a common step undertaken in almost anything we do. But in the case of climate change this does not work and I wonder why? Sometime back in Cancun all the major countries came together and debated on how much increase they will allow themselves for green house gas emissions. Forget about reducing the same, they could not come to an agreement on how much increase should be fine. It was amusing to say the least for me as the discussion took place in the absence of perhaps the most important stakeholder. All participants would do well to invite her to the discussion next time. Not sure If this stakeholder has time though as Mother Nature is too busy solving the most complex problems around us which we are yet to formulate. Perhaps a reflection of bloated opinion of self which man kind has (a scaled up version of what I have for myself), I noticed this excerpt in a famous book.
On the planet Earth, man had always assumed that he was the most intelligent species occupying the planet, instead of the third most intelligent. The second most intelligent creatures were, of course, Dolphins, who, curiously enough, had long known of the impending destruction of Earth. You see, on the planet Earth, man had always assumed that he was more intelligent than dolphins because he had achieved so much - the wheel, New York, wars and so on - whilst all the dolphins had ever done was muck about in the water having a good time. But conversely, the dolphins had always believed that they were far more intelligent than man - for precisely the same reasons. They'd made many attempts to alert mankind to the danger, but their communications were misinterpreted as amusing attempts to punch footballs or whistle for tidbits." -Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
I hope we start listening to the Dolphins and get our act right........

When was the last time.......

When was the last time you felt proud about being a human being? Tough one as for me Human beings are the ones who have created all that is undesired. Although, I do get to know some wonderful stories on human endeavors through my friends. In this post, I wanted to talk about something which inspired me.
It was few weeks back. I took an Auto Rickshaw in the morning as usual and was talking with my mom on phone when the driver stopped just before we reached my office. He gets down and he moved towards this small tree on the road side. I was thinking about walking rest of the distance. Just then I noticed that this guy stopped near the tree  and started looking at another person who was trying to unwind something. I also suddenly realized lots of crows around that tree. On getting closer, I see this guy trying to help a crow which was struck on the tree because of some thread and was not able to fly. With some effort as the crow was not proving to be helpful this other guy managed to help the crow leave. This was a special moment for me. I perhaps (actually for sure) would not have done this If I were the first person to notice this. I felt this guy was special and he was different. What he did was not about bringing either physical courage or moral courage into play. It was about the desire to be useful, desire to help someone/something which was beautiful about him.
Couple of weeks later, I was working on my laptop rather listening to this Lata Mangeshkar Song from Dastak (1970) and I noticed a crow was stuck on a tree in a housing society next to mine. I initially hoped that it would just fly off but it did not. After around 30 minutes I realized I cannot remain a spectator to this and I started walking towards the tree. As soon as I reach that place I noticed the crow was gone. I felt good as for once I had at least made an attempt to do something useful.
Most of us struggle to motivate ourselves to be of help to others. It is not that we are inherently evil but we always ask ourselves this question of what's in it for me before we take something up. We need to bring a bit of selflessness into ourselves for selfish reasons. As someone has rightly said,
I have found the paradox that if I love until it hurts, then there is no hurt, but only more love. This was said by Mother Teresa.............

Just say it.....

This particular entry in my blog has been created by a special friend of mine. So all credit to her for this. It talks (my takeout) about prioritizing the idea of giving back to people who have made a difference to one's life. Read on.
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Have thought of adapting this mantra, "Just say it" .. Few articles (ok just two of them)moved me to adapt this. What's it all about do read on !
There were two articles One was by an NRI who dreads the emergency calls usually expected from old parents who would get hospitalized or get ill suddenly and the feeling that you never expressed what you felt for them because you were so busy chasing your dreams hits you hard & the other where a lady - wife - mother got killed in an accident at Santacruz driving back after dropping her husband at the airport! The latter sent me on a spin of thoughts on what must have been her last words to her husband before he boarded the plane ? How many kids did she have ? How would they cope without her ? Was there anyone at home along with her kids ?

As a person i usually express my thoughts - good,bad as well as neutral ones. But when i compare all the three its "bad" that leads the pack hence i thought before its too late let me thank and express what each person in my life is special and i am what i am because they have a made a difference to my life

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I have always felt that one does not know the value of an item unless he looses it. Human relationships are also in similar space. We all run after money, new human relationships among other things at the cost of existing relationships because we want them. As someone has rightly said, "The problem is we are all human and its human to desire for more".

I actually believe its difficult to practice what my friend says but its her perspective. As I have already said there is nothing Right or Wrong......

Watched Dhobi Ghat today. Went to the movie with a blank mind as I did not know what to expect. It is about four characters who have their story to tell. Yasmin is in the process of bringing together all the routine realities of her life in a video cassette so that she can send the same to her brother. Coming from small town India, I believe she shoots this video cassette not because she wanted to send the same to her brother but because she did not have anything else to do. Of course this is open to the interpretation of audience.
Arun is a painter who likes staying alone, separated from his wife and kid. The only activity he pursues is painting.
Munna plays the role of Dhobi, he wants to make it big in Bollywood. The character I like though is that of "Shai". She has taken a sabbatical from her job  in a Bank at New York. She decides to come to Mumbai to pursue her passion of photography on the pretext of doing something useful for the bank she is employed in. All of us crave for such opportunities right? What I liked about her is she represented so many of us who are into jobs without knowing why they are in them. She is also vulnerable to the usual desires of human mind. The way she gets separated from Arun and how she subsequently chases him although lacks courage to tell him so are well shot. Recommended for those of us who want to see our simple lives presented in a sophisticated fashion.
Other story on Television channels today is the fight between Congress and BJP in Karnataka over governor's sanction of prosecution against CM. While the topic of what's right and what's not is a matter which I would like to pick in a separate blog. What interests me is that we have individuals who are perhaps in the last phase of their life i.e. less than third of life left but still fighting for material outcomes. I wonder what their motivation is. On the other hand we have Shai in Dhobi Ghat who perhaps has lived less than a third of her life and is not motivated to further pursue material causes.
I also happen to read this article shared by my cousin on Facebook today.
http://www.hindu.com/mag/2010/02/07/stories/2010020750120400.htm
It talks about psychopathic personality and its characteristics. It also introduced the concept of socially enabled psychopath to me. Thanks to the goal oriented activities we all pursue today, some of us are ready to break all the rules we have set to reach them. Inability to empathize with fellow human beings and inability to feel emotions or perhaps feel them so fleetingly that he does not acquire any emotional learning from them. I believe this goal orientation and the characteristics of psychopathic personality described are responsible for how our politicians and indeed many of us behave the way we do. Shai is different, she is emotional, empathizes with others and would perhaps never break societal rules. So how do we bring these abilities into all of us? But for me the larger question is whether its desirable? Do we all need to be good and right the way we have conventionally defined.
As somebody has rightly said, "There is no such thing as Right or Wrong, There is only perception"

Spent the complete day meeting consumers in Hyderabad. Interesting learning's but those are for a different forum in office. I love the effort young women (must be true for men as well but we met only women today) make to ensure that they are closer to what they want to be. When I was young I also wanted to do a lot but did not do much. That tagline "Hum Karna tho bahut kuch chahte hain par karte kuch nahin" from a Bipasha Basu Ad works very well for me. 

Reached airport thereafter directly as my colleagues turned down the idea of having a Irani Chai in Hyd on the way. I was hoping to refresh myself with a Irani Chai and Mirchi there but it was to not happen. Reached Hyd Airport and then we all had Guntur Idli at Idli Point there. Awesome stuff. But its important to make the right choice, Order Guntur Idli specifically. Avoid filter coffee here as it was not worth it. Boarded the flight thereafter and had a chance to listen to my favorite songs of Aashiqui besides sleeping. Got down at Mumbai and here I am at home. 

Another item which has caught my attention recently is Notion Ink's Adam Tablet PC. This has been developed by a startup in B'Lore, managed by a team of young entrepreneurs. I was quite impressed to read about this in newspapers which had headlines of this Tablet competing with Apple's IPAD. 

http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/tech/personal-tech/gadgets-special/Early-reviews-gloat-over-Indias-iPad-challenger/articleshow/7248992.cms

Well done to this team and I am not bothered about whether they succeed or not. What's important is that they tried and its fantastic. 

Another day in office tomorrow, let's hope I pick on something new tomorrow as well as I did through my engagement with people who pay me...Consumers....

Managed to come to Hyderabad this weekend, wanted to stay away from Mumbai and thank god I could manage it. It started with me getting up at 05:00 AM on Saturday, something I must confess I hate, although I love to stay awake whole night for a good reason. Took the Jet Airways flight and to my surprise it was just 15 mins late, it dropped me at Hyd Airport at 09:00 AM. Took the Bus to Secunderabad and here started my stay in Hyd with the usual chat in hyderabadi hindi with the auto wala here. After a bit of fight I get into it and reach home. Thanks to the fact its Sankaranthi, I had some excellent food for the lunch. There were no takers for my plan of going out to Southern Spice, In the hindsight I think food at home was far better. Went to visit my cousins newly bought home thereafter. While driving back home, saw a guy who met with accident just in front of my eyes. He died on the spot and I felt terrible that I could not do anything for him. He had overtaken me perhaps less than a minute before he met with the accident. Went for a longish walk thereafter. I was disturbed while walking this time and Its a new feeling I have acquired over last few days. Don't think I will continue with this habit for long. Watched TV thereafter and then slept of. I somehow sleep better in Hyd. I have just spent two years in Hyd in my life but I love this place. I feel completely at ease here.


Sunday started with Badminton for about an hour. I have never been good with sports but I like playing. But this is the story of my life, I have never been good with anything but I like participating. Exactly four days back somebody told me I have a bloated opinion of self and I agree. Followed this up with some chatting with Uncle and cousins. Interesting little conversations. I must say I have drifted quite far apart from the ideal world they expect me to live in.Went to Big Bazaar thereafter. This time with my cousin and his wife. I love them both. She obviously was interested in shopping. She wanted to buy these pair of Lovebirds. Some trivia on Lovebirds is "Smaller members of the parrot family from Africa and Madagascar. They belong to the family Agapornis Personata in Greek which means 'Agapa' (love) and 'ornis' (bird')". I must say I am not a big fan of putting animals/birds into a cage. Not that I have not done this in the past, I remember owning a parrot when I was a kid but I genuinely believe that restricting the freedom of any living being is the worst we can all do. 
We returned and I then took a bus to my other Uncle's house. Took a bus from Secunderabad to Lingampally. On the way the bus stopped at KPHB. This is where I lived while I worked in Hyd. I still remember my stay here and I wondered, how similar I am to the Vamsi five years back? I have added to my vulnerabilities. Reached my Uncle's home, I love this place again where he lives. Its outside the city, far from all the chaos. After spending couple of hours with him with a trip in between to buy some vegetables I take this Bus to Abids to watch this Telegu Movie called Mirapkayi. While reaching Abids, I met this old gentleman in the bus seated next to me. He started complaining about traffic at Lakdi Ka Pul. I was wondering how nice it would be If the traffic jam were to continue till eternity. This would avoid my need to get back to Mumbai. But as all good things come to an end (yes I felt good about this Traffic Jam), the jam ended in about 20 minutes and I reached this theater called Ramakrishna in Abids. Watched the movie and my one line advise to every individual is to not go for this. The only question in my mind while watching this movie was what motivates young girls from other parts of India to act in Telugu movies besides the money they get. After the movie, it took us approximately 25 minutes to reach home. As soon as I reach home I get to know (after I switch my Laptop on) couple of my friends have finished Half Marathon at Mumbai, I felt very good for them. It takes quite a lot of effort and well done to both of them.
And my day ends here. Its another day of work tomorrow, this time at Hyd though. I return to Mumbai in the evening and I must say I don't want to....

Style.....

So what exactly is "Style". I started thinking about this when I was forced to read few slides on something related to my work. Dictionary.com defines it as "a particular kind, sort, or type, as with reference to form, appearance, or character". Does this mean any form is "style"? Is there something called Vamsi's style? I never thought so and its a weird feeling to even contemplate what it could be.
But then we all do have a some notions on what style is and what its not. The moment we notice a women with beautiful hair we ascribe the word "style" to it. Its the same when we talk about somebody's attire. Not everyone's attire is worthy of the word style though. So what are these distinctions? On further probing I realized style is ascribed to only aspirational forms, appearance or character. 
For example, my blogs are far away from the word "style" as content in the same is not aspirational. Some other person would not be proud of having this in their blogs. But Is this all? Now If we were to  help an individual with beautiful attire which happens all the time, Is that enough? No right, we have this notion that he/she needs to be able to carry it. So style is a total package, It includes not just the external elements such as attire etc but also who you are from inside. A small town boy cannot immediately carry designer clothing, he would need to work on it as what's inside him needs to match what he wants to carry on himself. I pondered over all this and more while thinking of this in the context of my job. While trying to design products for our consumers we are too prescriptive. We tell them that these prescriptions are stylish but the fact is we need to be able to give a unique product solution to each consumer which matches with her internal being. It certainly not easy but then most of the things in life are not. We tend to mix up trends with styles. Trends are basically what we notice as an outcome of choice exercised by population of consumers. 


So style is both internal and external, defined by who you are in addition to what you are carrying. Next time you buy an IPAD thinking that it would add to your style quotient, think again?

Aaj Phir Jeene ki Tamanna Hai...Aaj Phir Marne ka Iraada Hai.....This is from a wonderful song written by Sailendra for one of my all time favorite movie called "Guide". I wonder what was he thinking of while he wrote these lines. While they seem to perfectly fit the context of the song in the movie, they are two completely contrasting thoughts brought together and he does so effortlessly. 
I have faced many a times questions in life where I usually have two answers instead of one. More often than not both the answers are complete opposites and both seem right. It starts with something as simple as whether I want to go ahead with my routine of office etc on a Monday morning?  It can be a slightly more involved question of whether I want to go ahead and buy a property somewhere. It can be even more tricky when I am faced with questions such as do I want to continue doing what I am right now which is pursuing my 9 to 5 job. I obviously struggle with the answers and more often than not status quo prevails. This is one of the many imperfections I possess. Strangely enough when it comes to making decisions in my professional life I realize I am quite good at making choices. I usually do not take a lot of time to choose one answer over another irrespective of whether it turns out to be the right option when I am at work.
Watched "No One Killed Jessica" recently. While the movie is unforgettable for reasons besides the movie, One must commend the director to bring this subject up to refresh our memories of the injustice which hit Jessica Lal in Yr 1999. I remember arguing many a times with my friends in her favor while there were others who were of the view that a girl who is in show business would face unsafe situations such as the one which took her life. Coming back to movie, Jessica is this character who perhaps had only one answer to all the questions she had. She knew what she wanted and just went ahead. Totally unlike me I must say. 
After watching the movie and having returned to home at around 12:15 AM, I suddenly realize I am hungry. I roamed around Sakinaka to buy some food as I could not overcome my laziness to cook or perhaps wanted to just walk around for some more time. I end up with this guy who was selling Bananas. After buying few of those I casually ask him, Kaise ho? Sab badiya chel raha hai na? He says "Kya Saab, Sab ko sab kuch tho nahin milta na, Paisa hai to khushi nahin, khushi hai to paisa nahin". Maine usse poocha dono possible nahin hai kya, he smiled at me and did not answer.
I was reminded of this line which I had quoted in office couple of days back, written by Nida Fazli for a movie.
kabhi kisi ko mukammal jahan nahin milta
kahin zameen to kahin aasman nahin milta

Maine socha, Mujhe tho Zammen aur Aasman dono chahiye, tho mera kya hoga. Another case of my desire for two outcomes for one single question. 

The Bananawala intelligently asked me to figure out what I want through his smile. May upparwala pass me the wisdom of Bananawala.....

So who is Mr. Binayak Sen. Read this article in Outlook just now. http://outlookindia.com/article.aspx?269953  The article describes him as icon for middles class of India. Is this true? Somebody like me who comes from Chattisgarh did not even know him till a month back which says a lot as Mr. Sen has been working in Chattisgarh for couple of decades now. But that's not the point which has got me thinking. Binayak Sen passed out from CMC Vellore in 1970's. After having passed out from one of the most prestigious medical school, one would expect him to settle down in a life of luxury. He choose not to and instead went into jungles of Chattisgarh to serve underprivileged. I wonder how did he arrive at this decision. For lot of us say that we want to serve those who are less privileged than others but very few end up doing. I certainly do not have the courage of leaving my life full of comfort (or rather luxury) and get into doing a fraction of what Mr. Sen has been doing. This is the bit which I am grappling with. The larger question is whether Mr. Sen is a better human being that others? Am I less worthy of human life than him.

With the above thoughts in mind, I started reading an article about Sachin Tendulkar in Outlook. It again describes him as icon for NRI's (not in as many words but that's the gist of what it says). Now Sachin has given wonderful moments to cherish. He has introduced Billion Plus (If not a billion at least 100 million) Indians to feelings which were unknown to them. He brought hope to them for dominating others when it seemed least likely. I still remember the Hero Cup Final in 1993 and the last over he bowled to South Africa in Semi final. But coming back to the article, it describes him as this special individual with cosmopolitan interests. These being Formula 1 racing, married to an older woman and he likes driving fast cars. We all still love him right...

Now who is a better individual, Mr. Sen or Sachin. How do we decide?

Some of us actually believe in this convenient logic that we are all here to play our part and we hardly decide what we ought to do. Hum sab is rangmanch ki katputliyan hai......Some of us believe that its about helping others and making a difference to them which would make our life worthy. Some of us believe that its about living for oneself, after all we have all got at best 60 odd years to live. In fact I am told that at this core, Hindu religion tries to answer this question "Who am I" which obviously lends itself to the answer to the question "What am I here for?" I actually know that I will never be able to answer this question for myself. But then...

Tees Maar Khan

Another day passed by today. I enjoyed every bit of it for a change. It started with the usual conversations on phone & my chai. Spent a long day in office attending this meeting where I actually did not add any value. Its funny how some organizations pay you for doing nothing. But I am happy about it.

Went to this Farah khan movie "Tees Maar Khan". Wanted to watch "The Tourist" but we were a bit delayed and had to settle for TMK. I was not expecting much from the movie but we just wanted to watch one today and hence got in. Movie starts with couple of scenes which were designed to be funny but not sure what they ended up being. These were followed by Sheela Ki Jawani song which again took away all the energy I had. I was wondering whether I should get out and head back to home. But as someone has rightly said, Hope is a good thing to have, I persisted with the movie. Don't know If I got used to the movie or movie improved in content, I ended up watching the full movie. Akshay Khanna is fabulous in the movie and so if Katrina Kaif (not in the Sheela Ki Jawani but in subsequent scenes where she has to play this role of a dumb actress which I think is complete opposite of her real life personality).

Headed back to home after watching the movie and walked for around 20 odd minutes while doing so. I enjoy  walking late at nights, not sure why but I really do. There the day ended. Its been a hectic last two days and I hope I can quickly get back to my comfort zone of doing nothing.