Happiness : What does it mean?

I have often been baffled by the question of what does being happy imply? Happiness, ever since I have known myself seemed like that distant goal which can never be reached. It seemed like culmination of a desire. But as soon as that happens next desire comes in. I would admit to the fact that I have not been able to service myself with most of the desires. But If I were to make a educated (something which I believe would hold and has nothing to do with books etc) guess I believe one desire would follow another.

Hence I have come to believe that happiness lies within. The key to being happy is managing expectations. No not just managing expectation but one would need to stay away from expectations. I believe I can improve my happiness levels by staying away from expectation.
Can I do this?
My commitments:
1. Not to expect anything from anybody:
2. Not to expect anything from myself.

Vamsi.......

Movie time "Yatra"

Just watched this movie called Yatra. Did not feel very inspired by the movie, though I deeply felt about one aspect. There is a scene where Nana Patekar goes to RajGhat. He puts a fact across that 4000 farmers have committed suicide in recent times. Its not that I did not know of this statistic. What actually surprised me is that I continue to live as if nothing happens around me. I started to wonder if this was indeed normal. How was it that in times before independence, a person called Ambedkar actually fought for welfare of people around him (when he could lived a life of material happiness). It has become common for to change a TV channel in case we see a news item of farmer suicide. We continue to celebrate a function in home, even though thousands of people would have died in tsunami. We are evolving back to become animals, where in life goes on inspite of loss of life around. This was also a point made in the movie.
This life where we do not care for people who live around us is something I cannot explain.

Iman ka Asar

I recently watched the movie "Dor" on Sahara. In spite of huge number of movies last year which are considered to Gr8. I believe this movie is way better than all of them. Omkara is a close second for me. There is this scene in the movie where Gul asks Ayesha to join her for Rasgullas. Ayesha refuses saying that she is not supposed to enjoy life. To which Gul says one must make his/her own decisions. Whenever you need to stretch beyond what society around you prescribes you must make a "iman ki chalang". If you right you would cross the hurdle or else you would not. This was an outstanding moment for me in the movie.

I have noticed, in spite of so called education most of us are not willing to move out of boundaries defined by the society. The solution was presented in a very subtle and beautiful way.
Hope this inspires us to do better stuff in life...

Flying Maharaja way....

About a week back, I set out for Durgapur. This was to attend the marriage of Saurabh. Saurabh is one of those guys who get a kick in proving a point, In a very positive way. He is extremely competitive. I was all excited as I was going to Durgapur for the first time. I booked flight tickets to Calcutta (rather Kolkata) and took this train from over there. Marriage was Gr8 and I would write about some other time. While returning back, the clever person Iam (booked tickets on the laptop I was carrying) not realizing the difficulty of finding a printer in Durgapur. But the fact that we were from Ladkawalas helped us. We were helped with a printout but ........
The train from Durgapur to Kolkata was 4 hours late. There were many other trains in between but the ticket I booked online came to haunt me and prevented me from taking any other train.
I reach Howrah station at 06:30 PM (with my flight at 07:30 PM). I was confident of catching the flight as I had booked Air Deccan which was known for delyas due to Air traffic congestion (Euphemism used for inefficiency of Airlines). But After I reach Kolkata airport I figure out that the plane has left, to my surprise all Air Deccan flights are late except mine which possibly was before time. Thereafter my royal experience began....
I try logging on to my Laptop (as I feel empowered in its presence), and figure out that none of the flights were available. I try Air India web site as well, It does not work. I try for a zillion times before I walk across to International airport. I meet this Air India employee there who says "Bhaiya kitne tak pade ho, yahan sirf international plane aati hai". He says this while you have a departure flight for Mumbai mentioned (Which is where I was headed to). I thought possibly I was wrong, afterall it was Air India employee. I again use my Laptop to figure out the helpline for Air India and he suggests that indeed there was a flight for Air India and he says I can buy those tickets in the boarding pass counter. All you guys who have not travelled by Air India, please note Air India tickets are not available in any airport but you need to move to a location far from airport. That is by design. I again go back to International airport (now that I have assurance from Helpline wala),I was promptly stopped at the gate by Airport Authority of India guard, He asked me to call up this Air India Guy from Inside. I call this person and he says he would be pick me up in 5 minutes, He does not turn up after even half an hour. This security Guard says "aur koi airline hota tho turant aa jate hai, yeh air India wale to flight ko halka phulka udana pasand karte hain". Finally, I convince this guy, he asks me to get in but leaving my luggage outside. I manage to get inside the airport and reach the Air India counter. My conversation with AI (Air India person) is as follows.

Me: Can I have ticket to Mumbai on this .....flight (It is 10:00 PM)
AI: (smoking a cigarrette, ofcourse it is banned in public places)Iam busy come after 01:00 AM. (The flight is at 03:15 AM).
Me: If I do not get ticket now, I would not be allowed in again.
AI: I would come for a round, look for me when I come to the lounge.
Me:I woukd not be allowed in lounge as well
AI: I can give you a ticket If you are carrying cash. Would not accept card.
Finally, I get tickets. I enter the airport. Having the fortune (or rather misfortune) of visiting S'Pore and B'Kok, I can only feel sad at the condition of Airport. In the only restaurant, we see a couple of cats fighting (or doing whatever, Gr8 Hygiene picture). The restaurant does not have 90% of items on menu.

finally I board the flight. This Air hostess serves me water in the most discomfortable way as If she was doing a charity. She serves food and without even asking me If I had finished she takes away the plate. I later realize the reason,when I find her yawning in seat back row to me.

I get down in Mumbai, I come out I see a prepaid taxi counter openly charging more money than he should (Toll of Rs 35 as against 25, saying this is RTO recommendation). The list is never ending.

The socialist mindset of ours has destroyed us. Air India, could have ruled the world but it today
Its not just Air India, Kolkata Railway station was a experience which would need another blog from me for discussion. But Air India is face of India to the world. The way it treated me let an everlasting feeling in my mind that this maharaja has ..........................

Iam Jealous..............

As I grow older and now that I have lived a significant chunk of my life, I thought it was worthwhile for me to understand, how had I fared. My simple mind always made me believe that Life is all about relative comparisons and there do not exist any absolute goals. To answer the question, I started with I thought I would answer a different question which is "Who are all the people Iam jealous of?????"

I actually could not come up with answers easily. I have very rarely adored people in complete sense. One of the people I adore is this guide of mine during graduation. He changed the way I thought about life and made me take decisions which were different. I love his thinking which is as simple as possible but not simpler.
One of the other individual I adore is this character of shahrukh khan in the movie "Swades". Amazing person who is correct and loved by people surrounded by him. For me being wanted by the people who live with you is a great hallmark of success.

Well to be very truthful I have also like people in Bits and Pieces. I have liked different people for the way they look, some for the way they think and some for the way they dress........... The list is endless.

The answer to the question, who am I jealous off has been bugging me as I have this nagging feeling that Iam not happy. But Iam not sure why??