Aaj Phir Jeene ki Tamanna Hai...Aaj Phir Marne ka Iraada Hai.....This is from a wonderful song written by Sailendra for one of my all time favorite movie called "Guide". I wonder what was he thinking of while he wrote these lines. While they seem to perfectly fit the context of the song in the movie, they are two completely contrasting thoughts brought together and he does so effortlessly. 
I have faced many a times questions in life where I usually have two answers instead of one. More often than not both the answers are complete opposites and both seem right. It starts with something as simple as whether I want to go ahead with my routine of office etc on a Monday morning?  It can be a slightly more involved question of whether I want to go ahead and buy a property somewhere. It can be even more tricky when I am faced with questions such as do I want to continue doing what I am right now which is pursuing my 9 to 5 job. I obviously struggle with the answers and more often than not status quo prevails. This is one of the many imperfections I possess. Strangely enough when it comes to making decisions in my professional life I realize I am quite good at making choices. I usually do not take a lot of time to choose one answer over another irrespective of whether it turns out to be the right option when I am at work.
Watched "No One Killed Jessica" recently. While the movie is unforgettable for reasons besides the movie, One must commend the director to bring this subject up to refresh our memories of the injustice which hit Jessica Lal in Yr 1999. I remember arguing many a times with my friends in her favor while there were others who were of the view that a girl who is in show business would face unsafe situations such as the one which took her life. Coming back to movie, Jessica is this character who perhaps had only one answer to all the questions she had. She knew what she wanted and just went ahead. Totally unlike me I must say. 
After watching the movie and having returned to home at around 12:15 AM, I suddenly realize I am hungry. I roamed around Sakinaka to buy some food as I could not overcome my laziness to cook or perhaps wanted to just walk around for some more time. I end up with this guy who was selling Bananas. After buying few of those I casually ask him, Kaise ho? Sab badiya chel raha hai na? He says "Kya Saab, Sab ko sab kuch tho nahin milta na, Paisa hai to khushi nahin, khushi hai to paisa nahin". Maine usse poocha dono possible nahin hai kya, he smiled at me and did not answer.
I was reminded of this line which I had quoted in office couple of days back, written by Nida Fazli for a movie.
kabhi kisi ko mukammal jahan nahin milta
kahin zameen to kahin aasman nahin milta

Maine socha, Mujhe tho Zammen aur Aasman dono chahiye, tho mera kya hoga. Another case of my desire for two outcomes for one single question. 

The Bananawala intelligently asked me to figure out what I want through his smile. May upparwala pass me the wisdom of Bananawala.....